Monday, December 27, 2010

such a skrew up

so im in newyork and everything is going fine.
until i need to buy cigarettes... and wouldnt you know... i lost my id. so now im trapped here for a while. it sucks.

thats it for today . just wanted you guys to know <3

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

im off to my home town ! wish me luck!

im feeling wonderful.
life is great

ok thats completely bull shit... you should know better by now girls :)

so my boyfriend finally got a  fuckin job! so after work i went to visit him and celebrate. it was going just fine until our friend came over with  the ps3. fuck the fucking playstation. it causes nothing but issuse.

i wanted to play something WITH my boyfriend as apose to sitting there with my thumb up my ass... so  the only two options were a fighting game or bowling. i gave him the choice and he threw an all out hissy fit over the fact that he wanted to play grand theft auto. i felt like i was baby sitting a 5 year old. ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOIUS? GROW THE FUCK UP SUCK IT UP AND PLAY A TWO PLAYER GAME YOU ASSFACE.  it went from bad to worse when i left because despite my best efforts he started playing gta... i was sitting outside in the 15 degree weather smoking  when he came out and  sat next to me like
"is it really that big a deal? you know im having gaming withdrawl-" im cutting it off there to say this YOU ARE A  GROWN ASS MAN YOU SHOULD BE MORE WORRIED WITH THE  FACT THAT YOU LIVE IN YOUR MAMMAS HOUSE THEN THE FACT THAT YOUR  FUCKING XBOX BROKE.  now his sentance may continue " but its ALWAYS my problem right? if its not your way its not any way at all"

to witch i said " what are you talking about every weekend im here everything is *your* room *your* tv *your* remote  and im the one that needs it my way all the time? "- this is where  he started laughing at me  " dont fucking patronize me  you fuckin asshole"
he  looked at me  like i  was nuts so i asked  him if he knew what patronize meant he  said  no so i said (because at this point i was fumeing mad)  "well maybe  if you got your GED  you would have learned it.. " then patted his head like a puppy  and went back inside.
the rest of the story is pretty typical of any fight we have.  i used words  he couldnt say let along know what they mean with out breaking out he dictonary... he repeteded the same sentance over and over and over. i would ask him questions, he would  repeat the same sentance over and over . i would throw something at him... guess what he did?

if you guessed  repeated him self again ... you get a cookie.

 well im off to ny soon<3 love you girls

Monday, December 6, 2010

im backkk did you miss me?

don't lie... i know you did... there was lots of ups and downs in the past month.... the lowest being... i lost the baby. i  lost my baby. i lost my little baby. i cried at least an hour a day for 3 weeks straight. i don't know what i did wrong,  but the boyfriend keeps telling me it just wasn't our time to have a baby, and i guess hes right... what he doesn't know is this is the second baby iv lost and at this point I'm convinced i keep doing something wrong.
when god intends me to have a baby i will have a baby. i will have 4 babies. i love babies.
but id rather not talk about that so lets be positive

i convinced him to go to thanksgiving with me. it went great my family loves him and are happy i have a man who's not a drug dealer, a drug user (as far as hard drugs go at least), a heavy drinker, or a wife beater lol. he likes my family  for the most part too. he got to hear all my embarrassing little kid stories, witch i think he enjoyed too much but all in all it was a good day.we spent  the weekend up at my grandmas and i had lots of fun. it got my mind off of everything that had been running through my mind prior. we went to the mal and i went on a balls to the wall shopping spree... part retail therapy, part my grandma set me loose in the biggest mall in the south east with her debit card...  what i did not get however... was a laptop. im hoping my rich daddy will get me one since i can pull the  "oh woe is me  i live in a shitty apartment with my boyfriend and don't even have a computer to play the sims on... get me a mac book pro kthxbye" card and hope it works.

so any way when i got home from my grandmas,  my boss dropped it on me, shes  sending me up to my home town of long beach NY for xmas..... but ..... when i come back i have to get my stuff and leave... im out of the job. the baby got in to a REALLY good daycare that they didn't expect her to get in to for another 6months... I'm royally fucked. 
not only that but my boyfriends mom is kicking him out if he cant come up with the rent  by jan 15th. so we need to find a place, and find jobs with in a very short period of time. he said i don't have to get a real job and  just find another babysitting thing just to make a few dollars here and there. witch I'm more then ok with  the only flaw in that plan is ....oh i don't know.... HE DOSENT  HAVE A JOB EITHER. if im gone for a long period of time its because im living under a bridge some where in Georgia.... freezing to death and  plotting to kill my boyfriend... just so you girls know <3

daily stuff
Thin_Envy - hello love, sorry i cant really think of all the drama....  know there has been alot, but  life has been absloutly nuts <3

draw out my tattoo that my best friend is buying for me
do the zumba workout video thing i fell in love with
go to walmart and buy shavers.

ill start up intake tomorow....
love you girls<3

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